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Stuck in NSW these school holidays? Here’s 5 reasons why you should take your kids to Byron Bay

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Like most things in 2020, school holidays have been somewhat, uneventful. But when it comes to the spring school holidays, (Monday, September 28 to Friday, October 9) Byron Bay in northern NSW, is the perfect family destination. It doesn’t require you to cross the border to get that warm beach vacation you’ve been craving. Just pack your mask and hand sanitiser, as Byron Bay is jammed packed with activities for yourself and the kids.

1. Learn to surf easy waves –

Byron Bay is renowned for its beautiful beaches. The Main Beach, The Pass, and Wategos’s Beach are just a handful of Byron’s best. Their clean waves and breaks make them the perfect place for beginners to learn how to surf. Floating around the Main Beach, you’re bound to pass a surfboard hire station where you can grab a thoroughly sanitised board and wetsuit. If you’re a little cautious about hiring and sharing, it’s best to bring your own.

(Image: The Pass, Byron Bay)

2. Farm Kids at The Farm –

From pigs to native bees, miniature cows, and planting seeds, The Farm kids workshops are a must-do. The Farm runs a variety of exciting programs aimed at teaching kids about topics such as: where food comes from, pollination, organic and ethical farming and there’s also plenty of opportunities to get up close and cuddly with the animals. There special School Holiday programs will return this spring and adhere to all COVID-19 health and safety guidelines. While the kids are in a workshop, it gives you and your partner the opportunity to take in the serenity and grab some morning tea.

(Image sourced: The Farm, Byron Bay.)

3. Cape Byron Walking Track –

Pack your camera and water bottle and head up The Cape Byron Walking Track to the picturesque lighthouse. It is best to go in the morning before it gets too warm and be mindful, the track is not considered stroller friendly in some areas. However, you can access the track at numerous points along the boardwalk that are flat, and it is also possible to drive to the top. From the lighthouse, you may see dolphins, sharks, turtles, and luckily, it is also whale season, (June-Oct.)

(Image sourced: Creative Commons “Byron Bay Lighthouse” by Yortw is licensed under CC BY-NC 2.0)

4. Crystal Castle in the Byron Hinterlands – 

The magical sanctuary brings your fairy-tale fantasies to life. They have a quest for the kids to follow that takes them through the gardens, crystals, and statues. Explore the ancient amethyst cave and the rare, Shambhala rainforest. There is also a giant, COVID safe, purple playground. It is a fascinating and alternative place to spend your day and leaves you feeling calm and happy.

(Image Sourced: Creative Commons “Crystal Castle” by La Lente Photography is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0)

5. Horse Riding at Pegasus Park –

Beginners, nervous adults, and children are Pegasus Park’s specialty, as they cater for all standards of riders. You can find the horse riding center nestled in the tranquil hills of Bangalow, just a 15-minute drive from Byron Bay. They offer beach and trail rides so, saddle up and take the family on an outing to remember.

(Image sourced: PegasusPark.com.au)
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DEVELOPMENT

Why is gaslighting so dangerous and could you be unwittingly using this tactic on your children?

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Gaslighting is a tactic used by someone to psychologically manipulate a victim into doubting their sanity. Gaslighting is a horrific form of abuse and is most commonly seen between intimate partners, but it’s also experienced in parent and child relationships. This is frightening, as usually, a parent isn’t aware of the harmful damage they’re doing to their child’s welfare.

Authors, Damien W. Riggs and Clare Bartholomaeus of a study on gaslighting in parent-child relationships for the Flinders University, Melbourne, say,

“Gaslighting in practice is often subtle and can be difficult to detect, especially in the context of parent-child relationships, where imbalances of power are often a taken-for-granted norm.”

This difficulty in understanding and identifying what gaslighting looks like between a parent-child relationship is why parents are often guilty of unintentionally doing it.

(Image sourced: Pixabay) 

A scenario of what gaslighting can look like, according to 1800RESPECT anonymous counselling services, can be as simple as a mother losing track of time and is now running late to drop their toddler to daycare. It is not the toddler at fault but nonetheless, the mother insists on saying, “We’re going to be late to daycare because you have been mucking around! Quick get in the car now and behave yourself!”

This is a rather common situation in the life of a mother, but according to 1800RESPECT anonymous counselling services, when such words are spoken to a child it positions them to question their actions and teaches them that they’re troublesome and disobedient.

Other ways a parent may unknowingly gaslight their child is by exaggerating conflict. Minor wrong-doings by their child are blown out of proportion. An issue as small as a child lying about brushing their teeth sets the parent off in a way that makes the child question whether there is any sense and logic to their anger.

(Image sourced: Pixabay) 

In response to the parent acting out, the child will start to keep to themselves and steer clear, as they never know what will trigger or infuriate the parent. The child may also begin to start lying to their parent to avoid the constant put-downs, as they feel like they can’t do right by their parent.

Robin Stern, associate research scientist at the Child Study Centre in Yale, identifies these responses in his book,  The Gaslight Effect: How To Spot and Survive Hidden Manipulation Others Use to Control Your Life, as the two warning signs that a victim is being gaslit.

Mocking of your child’s behaviour is a harmful action which is a form of gaslighting. This situation might involve – a child being upset because they want chocolate at the supermarket, but they already have a lolly. The child begins to cry louder because she wants chocolate as well as a lolly, and the parent becomes frustrated by the loud whining in public and mocks the child, “Wah, wah, wah, I want chocolate, but I already got a lolly. Well too bad!”

This humiliates and distresses the child and ultimately, invalidates their feelings.

A parent’s over-assertion of power when their child begins to grow older is another form of gaslighting. When a parent starts to sense their child is making decisions for themselves that they may not agree with, they begin to feel fearful that their kid no longer needs them.

To combat this, a parent might begin to speak poorly about the child’s newly formed school friends by telling them they don’t think they’re “good enough” for them. This sends their child the message that they are helpless without their parent’s guidance. In turn, the child isolates themselves from friends and family.

(Image sourced: Pixabay) 

Self-isolation was one of the warning signs that Stern identifies in his book that victims of gaslighting do.

It is important to be educated and aware of what gaslighting can in parent-child relationships in both large and small forms. 1800RESPECT anonymous counselling services say the effects of this psychological abuse leave a child feeling anxious, insecure, and distressed, which causes them to develop both inferiority and trust issues.

Children that are victims of gaslighting at a young age grow up feeling unsure of their place in the world, which subsequently alludes to them questioning themselves, their worth, and their own sanity.

If you or someone you know needs more information or support around gaslighting call – 1800respect counselling services – 1800737732 or visit their website https://www.1800respect.org.au/

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EDUCATION

5 reasons why Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’s speech is empowering young women all around the world.

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During the past week when you’ve opened up your Facebook feed and scrolled through a chain of coronavirus articles, you may have stumbled across the phrase,
“Having a daughter does not make a man decent. Having a wife does not make a decent man. Treating people with dignity and respect makes a decent man.”

These were just a few of the moving words that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (also known as AOC), the first-term Democrat from New York, states in her speech on the floor of the House of Representatives last week. The speech came after Republican Ted Yoho, approached Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the steps of the Capitol, having just voted, and called her “disgusting,” “out of her mind,” and worse…

Too often, when American politicians find their way onto our newsfeeds, it is for the wrong reasons. However, AOC’s recent speech is trending for all the right reasons and here’s why –

  1. She is the youngest woman to ever be elected into American congress and is standing on the floor of the House of Representatives defending herself against a much older, male in power.

American politics is dominated by disreputable male characters. President Trump has been held accountable on multiple occasions for his abusive language and poor attitude towards women. He has built a Republican party that reflects these traits and AOC’s encounter with Yoho is a prime example.
For AOC to stand on the floor of the House of Representatives, as the youngest female in history to be elected into congress and tell her narrative of how Mr. Yoho approached her with his male colleague and called her, “disgusting,” “out of her mind,” “and “a f*cking b*tch,” is incredibly brave. To then follow this recount of events by defending herself, ignites a spark of empowerment in the hearts of all women.

 

  1. Her motive to speak out about the incident was to ensure young girls do not excuse or accept verbal abuse from men. 

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez states in her speech that Representative Yoho’s comments “were not deeply hurtful or piercing” to her. She explains that she has encountered this harassment in all areas throughout her life.

She was “going to pack it up and go home,” as it was just another day in her life as a woman. However, when she heard Yoho making excuses for his comments towards her, she decided to speak out.
“I could not allow my nieces, I could not allow the little girls I go home to, I could not allow victims of verbal abuse, and worse, to see that, to see that as an excuse, and to see our congress accept it as legitimate and accept it as an apology.”

Her motive for taking to the microphone was to stand with younger women, ensuring they do not tolerate or accept verbal attacks from men.

 

  1. She calls out all men for using their wives, daughters, and family as shields of protection for inexcusable abuse.

Perhaps the most inspiring words of AOC’s speech were, “Having a daughter does not make a man decent. Having a wife does not make a decent man. Treating people with dignity and respect makes a decent man.”

Mr. Yoho attempted to excuse his behaviour by saying that he has a wife and a daughter and therefore, is a decent and respectful person. However, AOC quickly invalidated his comment when she states that she, “is someone’s daughter too,” and no child, no women, no man, no person, should ever be spoken to with such disrespect.

 

  1. She acknowledges that this does not only happen to women in politics, but women in all professions, in multiple different areas of their lives, and it is not okay. 

Before being elected into congress, AOC majored in international relations, was an activist, and worked as a waitress and a bartender. She mentions her previous occupations in her speech and states that she has “ridden the subways and walked the streets of New York City and this kind of language is not new.”

She unites all women by acknowledging that in some way, shape, or form, we have all been in her position and experienced verbal abuse, and that is the problem. AOC acknowledging that there is an issue and using her position to vocalise it is encouraging.

 

  1. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez doesn’t only defend herself but defends principle, and countless women, not only in America, but across the globe.  

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez closed her speech with, “Lastly, what I want to express to Mr. Yoho is gratitude.” Because he showed the world that any man, no matter their title, their position of power, if they have a daughter or if they have a wife, can still accost women without remorse. It happens everywhere, every single day, and by Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez calling him out in her speech, she defends, inspires, and empowers us all.

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