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What does Family mean to you?

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When you think of family, what comes to mind?

Do you think of your parents? Your own children? Siblings or cousins?

Family can mean blood ties, but it can also be the people that you choose, something that you build, and can be defined in terms of the people you love and who you know will love you no matter what.

When people think of family they don’t usually think of foster care.

But children and young people in foster care can be in the most desperate need of love and acceptance – the things we usually find in our families.

Children enter foster care through no fault of their own, simply because their birth family is unable to look after them.

In NSW there are over 20,000 children and young people in need of care, but fewer than 13,500 households are authorised to provide it.

Stretch-A-Family is a Sydney-based foster care agency that’s always looking for new foster carers to keep up with this need.

They provide full training and ongoing support to all their foster carers.

“Biology doesn’t really come to mind when I think of family”

“Biology doesn’t really come to mind when I think of family”, says Paula*, a foster carer with Stretch-A-Family.

She cares for her 5-year-old biological daughter, Emma*, and 18-month-old foster son, Will*.

“I asked my daughter what family means to her and she said being kind to each other and loving each other,” says Paula.

“Emma has loved Will ever since she laid eyes on him. They play and laugh together and have their own way of communicating. She tells everyone that he’s her brother.”

Some people worry they could not love a child that was not their own, but the experience of countless foster carers shows that it is love that makes a family.

Some people worry that they would get ‘too attached’ to be able foster but, paradoxically, that is exactly what children in foster care need!

They need to learn how to attach, they need that connection, they need to know they are loved and accepted.

For an adult, knowing that a child may only be in your care for a while can be scary, but imagine being a child and not knowing if anybody loves you?

Foster care is about doing the best thing by the child – loving them – no matter how long they are in your care.

“What I love about being a foster carer is knowing that I’m making a difference in Will’s life”

“It’s also shaped my and Emma’s perspectives in a positive way. She’s learnt that not all kids have stable homes and has built an understanding of the world outside herself.”

Could you broaden your definition of family wide enough to open your heart and home to a vulnerable child?

There are different kinds of foster care, and there is a type to fit in with your lifestyle and household commitments.

Some children stay in foster care for only a few weeks until extended family can be located to take care of them.

Some children stay in foster care until they are 18 and become independent.

And some children in foster care can be adopted by their carers to become legally part of a new family.

Stretch-A-Family is happy to help you think through what the best option would be for you and your family.

If you have a spare room, and the willingness to help, their team would love to hear from you!

Find out more today, or give Stretch-A-Family a call during office hours on 9569 6933

*Names & picture have been changed to protect privacy

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PARENTING

Foster Caring with MacKillop Family Services

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Sue and husband Lee, from Melbourne, have been foster carers with MacKillop Family Services for two and a half years. They talk about their experience and the benefits of being foster carers, and how it has enriched life for their family and the community.

Between them, Sue and Lee have five children of their own, and friends thought they were taking on too much when they said that they were going to be foster carers, but Sue says the family has benefited so much from the experience.

Sharing their home with kids in foster care has enriched life for everyone in this family.

“It’s not about what you give, it’s all about what you get back”, insists foster carer Sue McLaughlin.

Sue and husband Lee, from Melbourne, have been foster carers with MacKillop Family Services for two and a half years, providing a safe and nurturing home for babies and toddlers.

Between them, Sue and Lee have five children of their own, and friends thought they were taking on too much when they said that they were going to be foster carers, but Sue says the family has benefited so much from the experience,

“With four teenagers and one nine-year-old, foster care is a team effort with everyone pitching in and helping with the babies. Our kids have learned a great deal from opening their home to other children,

“They absolutely love having the babies to stay. It’s been such a positive experience for us and it’s taught the kids a lot about the wider world. We share age appropriate information with them about each little one that arrives, they understand that sometimes people need support and that’s why we are caring for the babies.”

“With four teenagers and one nine-year-old, foster care is a team effort with everyone pitching in and helping with the babies. Our kids have learned a great deal from opening their home to other children”

Sue and Lee sat down and discussed how foster care works with their children before starting foster care training and she believes it has been hugely educational for them,

“Our kids are an enormous help to me and the babies just love it when they come from school as their big brothers and sisters are there to play. Some days I say to them, ‘Guys, I couldn’t have done this without you today.’ They just want to keep them all forever, but we talk about how we have the babies for a short time and it’s our job to keep them safe and as happy as possible in that time.”

Over the last two years, Sue and Lee have looked after two young children since they were six weeks and eighteen months old as well as providing emergency and respite care for other babies and toddlers when needed.

Sue’s kids have also become advocates for foster care among their friends and at their schools,

“They see the babies as their brothers or sisters but are also quick to tell people that we are a foster family. They are happy to explain to some of their friends who have not had any experience of foster care what it is all about and why there is a need. I am so proud that they are growing into compassionate people who have empathy for others and understand that people can experience difficult times in their lives.”

Sue’s kids have also become advocates for foster care among their friends and at their schools.

Children need homes for all sorts of reasons, sometimes it is respite care to give parents a break, sometimes parents are ill or in hospital and unable to look after their children. There are also situations where children may have been abused or neglected because the children are in a domestic and family violence situation.

Foster carers can be single, retired, studying or working and can rent or own their own homes. There are also many types of foster care. Care can be for a weekend, a few weeks, a few months or even years. Foster carers can choose the type of care that suits them.

MacKillop Family Services provides practical support to carers to support them to support the child. Intensive and ongoing training provides carers with a specific insight into caring for children who have experienced trauma. MacKillop also operates an after-hours service so carers can call for support 24 hours a day.

Babies, children and young people need all sorts of different homes, so if foster care is something that could work for you or your family, contact MacKillop Family Services who will help you work through the steps to become an accredited foster carer.

For more information, visit https://www.mackillop.org.au/

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