newborn

Parental bonding affects mental, physical, intellectual, social and emotional development and influences how well a child does in later life.

By responding to a baby with love, warmth and care, parents become a trusted person in that baby’s life. The bond that is created is not based on the quality of parental love or care but on nonverbal communication between a parent and newborn.

The bond between a parent and a newborn is based on nonverbal communication.

The first few days of a baby’s life are the perfect time for bonding to take place. A baby is innately wired to initiate bonding relationships at this time. Crying, cooing and making noises, smiling, searching for the breast, and seeking eye contact are cues to which a parent can respond.

A baby’s brain development, as well as their social, emotional, and cognitive development, depends on a loving bond with a parent or primary caregiver.

A baby’s brain development, as well as their social, emotional, and cognitive development, depends on a loving bond with a parent or primary caregiver. Studies have shown that parental inconsistency and a lack of bonding can lead to long-term mental health problems and reduced overall happiness.

When a parent responds consistently to a baby’s needs, it nurtures a growing child’s ability to express a full range of emotions.

It is a myth that responding quickly to a crying baby by holding and nursing them will result in spoilt baby.

It is a myth that responding quickly to a crying baby by holding and nursing them will result in spoilt baby. Babies that are held and comforted during the first six months of life tend to be more secure, confident toddlers and older children.

A poor parent-child bond can result in limited social, coping and problem-solving skills, tantrums, clinginess, being withdrawn, or aggressive behaviours. The negative effects of insecure bonding often impact a child throughout their developmental years.

Bonding promotes confidence, enables a baby to tolerate separation from their parents, and eventually helps infants learn how to soothe themselves which results in less crying and fussiness.

The parent-child bond is strengthened through this attachment and the life-long emotional connection that is established helps a child develop independence.

Research has shown that secure bonds developed in childhood produces adults that enjoy stable, satisfying ties with their intimate partners and are better at resolving relationship conflicts.

Like mothers, dads need to bond with their babies, too. So do siblings.

Like mothers, dads need to bond with their babies, too. So do siblings. All members of the family should take some quiet time to hold the baby, gaze into their eyes, talk to them and comfort them when they are distressed.

It’s important that dads bond with their newborn, too.

Some ideas that can assist with bonding include:

Regularly touching and cuddling the newborn. By cuddling a baby on the left side of the chest they can hear their parent’s heartbeat, making them feel secure.
Gently stroking the newborn during bath time or nappy changes.
Responding to crying to let a baby know that a parent is always there.
Rocking or holding the newborn, skin on skin, or carrying them in a carrier or sling to keep them close.
Wrapping the baby to simulate the security they felt in the womb.
Talking to the baby in soothing, reassuring tones which helps them recognise the sound of a parent’s voice. When talking to a newborn, look into their eyes and make facial expressions so they can connect words with feelings.
Singing to the newborn or playing soothing music.

Some parents bond more easily with their baby than others. It’s okay for a parent to not feel an instant connection with their newborn.

Studies have shown that about 20% of new mums and dads feel no real emotional connection to their newborn in the hours after delivery.

Studies have shown that about 20% of new mums and dads feel no real emotional connection to their newborn in the hours after delivery. Bonding can be especially difficult if a mother has had a caesarean section, or the baby was born prematurely and spent time in the neonatal intensive care unit (NICU).

Sometimes the connection between parent and child can take weeks or months to develop, so parents shouldn’t feel guilty or anxious about not beginning the bonding process immediately.

It can take time – sometimes weeks or months – for the bond between parent and newborn to develop.

An overwhelmed, stressed, anxious, or depressed parent may not be aware of the positive emotional interaction that a baby needs to bond. Parents should do the best they can to engage in self-care and deal with negative emotions, so they are better equipped to bond with their child.

It’s important to remember that given the speed at which a baby’s brain develops, it is possible to repair the parent-child bond.

Parents are not perfect. No one can be fully present and attentive to their child’s needs 24 hours a day. It’s important to remember that given the speed at which a baby’s brain develops, it is possible to repair the parent-child bond by figuring out what the baby needs and attending to it.

By doing this, parents can re-establish the bonding process and may even strengthen the bond between themselves and their baby.

These suggestions may help to encourage the bonding process:

Take the time to enjoy being with a newborn by simply cuddling, singing, or reading aloud to them.
Consider things from the baby’s perspective. Imagine what they are looking at, feeling, or trying to do.
When it comes to eating, sleeping, and playing be flexible and respond to the baby as they need. Most newborns don’t have a fixed day/night routine.

Keep Reading

How to heal and prevent nappy rash in new-borns.

While common, the red and sore skin condition known as nappy rash can cause discomfort and distress for children under two.

If your child wears nappies, chances are they’ll develop nappy rash at some stage, so it’s critical you know how to deal with it.

How can it be caused?

Nappy rash can be caused by many things, but it mainly develops as a result of wearing a wet or dirty nappy for too long. When urine or faeces come in contact with a baby’s skin it causes a build-up of moisture which, along with friction and long wear, can cause irritation to the skin.

Wearing plastic pants or underwear can also cause and worsen nappy rash as it stops air from circulating around the skin.

Nappy rash can also occur consequently from a child having another skin condition such as eczema.

Tips for treating nappy rash

The underlying, good thing about nappy rash is it generally goes away within a few days, provided you do some of the following.

Give your baby nappy-free time.

Airing your child’s bottom every day is a great way to avoid nappy rash because it helps the skin to dry out and heal.

You could try leaving a dry nappy or towel under your child for a couple of hours or even fasten the nappy looser to allow air to flow.

Change nappies frequently.

Check your baby’s nappy every hour or so, where possible, to ensure they’re not sitting in a mess and change it straight away if they are. Frequently changing their nappy means the area will stay dry and will start healing.

Keeping their skin clean.

After every nappy change, use lukewarm water and a delicate cloth to gently clean your baby’s skin.

Where possible, avoid using disposable wipes which can irritate children’s’ skin, especially if the preservatives are causing an allergic reaction.

Using a soap-free baby wash that’s gentle on the skin when bathing your baby is also beneficial.

Cloth nappies.

Reusable cloth nappies are problematic when it comes to nappy rash because they’re less absorbent than disposable ones. Plus if remains of soap or detergents are left on them it can cause the nappy rash to worsen.

However, if you prefer the cloth nappy, you can avoid these issues by thoroughly cleaning the nappy after every use and rinsing them in freshwater after they’ve been washed to remove any leftover residue.

Tip from a mother of four: If you want to use a cloth nappy but the moisture is an issue, try placing a woman’s pad inside the nappy for extra absorption.
Cloth nappies.

Creams and treatments.

Applying a gentle barrier cream such as Sudo, after every nappy change can be beneficial in eliminating the rash as they stop moisture from hitting it.

You can either purchase these at your local supermarket or drugstore without a prescription or contact your baby’s GP for a recommendation.

Avoid using talcum powder. It’s important not to put powders on your baby’s skin during this time as it can actually trap the moisture inside, preventing the rash from healing plus, it can be a breathing hazard for children.

A home remedy from a mother of four: “I used cornflour after a cream. Cornflour helps absorb moisture and stays on the surface, so lightly sprinkling some over your baby’s skin can help reduce the rash.”

However, if the rash continues after a few days, talk to your GP to find the right course of action.