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On her recent Australian tour, hosted by Maggie Dent, registered child psychologist and founder of Wishing Star Lapointe Developmental Clinic, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe disclosed her ultimate formula for parenting. Offspring shares her advice.

If you’ve ever wished your baby came with an instruction manual, you are not alone. Parenting can be overwhelming and there’s so much conflicting advice it’s hard to know how to best parent your children. Thankfully, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe dispels common myths in her guide to laying a healthy foundation for the baby and toddler years, Parenting Right From the Start. She asserts that there is a way to successfully navigate the struggles of parenthood whilst fostering a sense of wellbeing in your children. It’s all down to a simple parenting formula:

1 – Make sense of who you are

2 –  Understand your child’s needs

3 –  Step in.

Let’s break it down step by step:

1- Making sense of who you are

Dr. Vanessa Lapointe makes it clear that you will parent as you were parented. This means you need to assess your own upbringing and evaluate the parenting patterns that dominated your own childhood.

Typically, these are not comfortable revelations. However, Dr. Lapointe is quick to point out that all parents do the best with the tools they have – in the era in which they were parenting. She argues that most adults these days will have been parented according to ‘behaviourist’ principles.

This way of parenting was focused on manipulating a child into behaving well. This was because ‘good’ behaviour was considered equal to ‘good’ parenting. You can still hear the hangover from this style of parenting in today’s parenting pop culture: How often do you hear, “Good boy” or “Good girl”? Often, strategies such as ‘consequences’ were devised to encourage children to adhere to the rules.

One such strategy is the principle of a time-out. In a time-out, a child is removed from a situation because they are behaving poorly. It’s the equivalent of making a child stand in the corner. The parent does not make eye contact, the parent does not give the child their voice and instead removes all connection. The problem with this model is that the most important thing for a developing child is connection.

Reward charts do not fare much better. Dr Lapointe is quick to point out that a sparkly gold sticker might be great to praise a particular behaviour, but the flip-side is it quickly becomes the ‘not-star chart’ meaning that all other behaviours do not get a star and so the child feels punished.

So traditionally we have coerced our children into ‘behaving’ by removing the one thing they need the most: connection. These old methods do usually get results, at least at first, but Dr. Lapointe cautions that it comes at a cost. To highlight this point, Dr. Lapointe refers to the ‘still face experiment’ where a mother engages with her baby as she would at home, before turning and clearing her face of all emotion. When she turns back to the baby she has a completely ‘still’ face. She has disconnected. It’s not easy to watch. The baby becomes very distressed until the mother re-engages and connects.

Thankfully, Dr Lapointe says, “Now, we know better”.  By understanding and making sense of who we are, we are in a better position to parent differently.

2 – Understand your child’s needs

The second part of the parenting formula involves understanding your child’s individual needs, and not setting the bar too high.  Most children need time to develop and grow. If we choose to rush childhood in order to make our lives easier, it can have a long-lasting negative impact.

Dr. Lapointe highlights our need to grow children who are capable and independent without stopping to consider what is really age appropriate. She likens this rush to pulling on the top of a plant. A plant will not grow faster or better if you are pulling on the top of it; instead this will uproot it and cause damage. It’s the same with child development.

One area that parents are keen to rush (for obvious reasons) is sleep training. Sleep training is a key area of tension, conflict and comparison among new parents. Many new mums find themselves sneaking the cot back into the main bedroom or cuddling their child to sleep every night but feeling guilty that the child will never learn to ‘self-soothe’. Dr Lapointe reassures new mums that being attentive and fostering that intimate relationship with your new baby is absolutely the right thing to do. Babies who feel loved, connected, safe and secure will develop as nature intended and will eventually learn to settle on their own when the conditions are right.

She suggests that sleep training is in fact for adults. It is adults who need to learn to create the right environment for a secure and settled child, everything else will follow on if they have the number one thing that all children need: connection.

 

All children progress through various stages of brain development as they grow. Psychologist Dr. Gordon Neufeld shines a light on the way children make sense of their relationships and how parents can tune in to support them:

Year One

The attachment relationship is understood in sensory terms: Babies want to taste, touch and smell you.

Year Two

In the second year of life children add to their sense of attachment through sameness. They want to see the similarities between you e.g. Mummy likes apples just like me!

Year Three 

A child makes sense of attachment in their third year through as sense of belonging and loyalty. They are likely to become very possessive at this age e.g “My Mummy!’ A secret handshake and saying, “My boy” or “My girl” will help a child of this age feel connected.

Year Four

This year a child wants to feel significant. They want to feel that they matter.  Typically they will show you every drawing they do, seeking attention and to feel important. Try to give them this attention and stay one step ahead by thinking of ways to show them they are special.

Year Five

The feeling of love truly resonates at this age. Expect lots of drawings of love hearts! Reciprocate this new feeling of love to help your child feel connected to you at this age.

Year Six

Although falling in love with you seems like the most profound connection, in their sixth year they will feel truly known. They understand that every aspect of them (the good, the bad and the ugly) can shine through in the restful knowledge that all will be accepted.

3- Step in.

This is about being the parent. Offspring recently shared a free excerpt from Dr. Lapointe’s new book in which she discusses ‘parental swagger’. This is about being ‘large and in charge’ whilst being respectful of what your child needs you to be in any given moment. Children need to know that you’ve got this.

Dr. Lapointe describes the parenting mountain, where every parent wants to sit at the peak and enjoy the spectacular views.  The problem is that it is easy to slide off of this peak and fall down one of the sides: Either down a bullying, emotionally distant and disconnected slope or conversely down an overly kind, pandering and ‘jellyfish’ slope.

The first slope sees us so determined to enforce rules that we forget to connect with our children. It is the remnants of the behaviourist parenting theories. However, the other side is no better. This side sees you reluctant to maintain control and be in charge, it sees you lacking ‘parental swagger’ and is equally harmful for child development.

What your child needs, at any stage of development, is a balance of both. Everyone has off days but if you can provide an environment where your child feels seen, heard and connected to you then you are on the right track.

Your child needs to be able to lean on you as they navigate their childhood. If you are yelling at them or shaming them for behaviour you don’t like, are they likely to want to lean in to you and to show you their most loving side? No, of course not.

Conversely, if you agree to everything they ask and let them do as they please, are they going to feel that you are strong enough to guide them through life’s challenges? No, they won’t.

So what does parenting ‘right’ really look like?

Let’s use the formula on a real-life scenario:

Imagine your child is having a meltdown in the middle of the supermarket because you won’t let them have a cookie right before dinnertime.

1- Making sense of who you are

In this case you need to check in to understand your response to their meltdown. Are you feeling stressed about the judging eyes of other people around you? Do you feel like you just want to give in to make this behaviour stop so you won’t be embarrassed?

Acknowledging these feelings is the first step in being able to break the cycle so that you can parent better.

2 – Understand your child’s needs

No matter how old your child is, they need to be seen and heard. They need you to get down on their level and calmly tell them that you understand it’s disappointing that they got a ‘no’ when they were hoping for a ‘yes’. Disappointment is a tough emotion to regulate, and they need to learn these skills from you. Acknowledge your child’s emotional response. It’s a normal part of healthy development!

3 – Step in

Now step in with your parental swagger and be the parent. Use your ‘large and in charge’ voice to firmly reiterate that, “No, they cannot have a cookie before dinnertime”. Note that you do not have to justify yourself. Getting into a battle about whether or not they will eat their dinner is starting to have ‘jellyfish’ tendencies and is not helpful. Young children are not at a developmental age to rationalise consequences of eating a cookie now and its impact on their appetite. That’s your job.

Just step in and be the parent.

Cultivate an intimate relationship that is kind, caring and connected whilst maintaining a good degree of parental swagger. Do that most days? You’re getting it right.

Community Educator at Ngala, Stephanie Fairbairn, explores some reasons toddlers become averse to vegetables, and suggests some strategies for getting them to eat more greens.

Have you ever wondered why your once-vegetable-loving baby turned into a vege-phobic toddler at around 14-18 months of age? Why does this happen, and how can we get them back on track with their greens?

Firstly, developmentally, toddlers have a growing sense of independence and this self-determination can also sometimes affect their food preferences. They push boundaries and some tend to say “no” a lot.

Scientists studying behaviour and evolutionary adaptation have proposed some fascinating possible reasons for this. In other words, how humans adapted to their environment in order to survive. Scientists have put forward the idea that babies being carried by an adult in the ancient savannah were relatively safe from harm and potential hazards, but as soon as they became mobile and independent, self-protecting behaviours had to kick in to prevent them from putting anything and everything into their mouths.

This applies particularly to green vegetables. Spinach, broccoli and other green leafy veg possess a group of chemical compounds that provide an ‘alkaloid’ taste – think of the smell when we’ve left the brussel sprouts on too long. Plants have sophisticated defence mechanisms, like spikes, thorns, stingers and chemical poisons to dissuade from being eaten, and many poisons have bitterness as a hallmark taste whereas sweetness tends to be ‘safe’, like breast milk – hence our preference for sweet tastes. The aversion to bitter taste is heightened at toddlerhood, to alert them to potentially harmful things to eat.

The aversion to bitter taste is heightened at toddlerhood, to alert them to potentially harmful things to eat.

To test this theory, researchers from Yale University in the US conducted an experiment with toddlers, looking at how they interacted with non-food items like wooden spoons, metal toys and cardboard, compared to green leafy plants. They found that the toddlers were significantly less likely to touch the green leafy items compared to the other objects, and took longer to reach out to them. There is also research to show that humans are likely to possess a gene that makes us particularly sensitive to detecting bitterness from our taste receptors. As children have more taste sensitivity than adults by nature of their age, adults may not taste flavours as sensitively as children.

 

All this is very interesting, but how do we overcome the battle to get our toddlers to eat their greens? There are several strategies that we can put into practice:

  • What tends to work in the long term so that we enjoy our five vegetables and two fruit a day later in life, is for parents to be seen to role model eating a variety of vegetables and fruit at mealtimes and snacks. You may have noticed already that your toddler copies your actions; what you say, do, and items you use (think mobile phones!). You may have also noticed that there are times they eat food off your plate that they would never eat off their own, this is down to feeling safe to eat food you eat. 
  • Have a fruit bowl in the middle of the table for visibility and accessibility. Think creatively about how you prepare and serve vegetables – cut them in different shapes, use a crinkle cutter, keep vegetables raw rather than cooked, use a dip or sauce, get your toddler to help you wash vegetables and put them on a plate.
  • Be persistent and patient – it can take many times presenting the food to your toddler before it’s accepted.
  • Let your toddler help themselves from a serving plate on the table. 
  • Grow something simple like herbs or tomatoes with your toddler – it’s worth the effort and they learn along the way.
  • Google it! If you are fresh out of ideas pick the brains of millions of others who have gone before. Pinterest and image sites are a good resource for triggering your imagination and creativity.
  • Offer healthy foods and snacks. If your toddler refuses to eat their vegetables, it does not mean they get rewarded with non-healthy food.
  • Relax! We are working towards a long-term habit not a mandatory daily chore. Vegetable success will only come when your child gets there in his own time.
  • Remember, toddler’s tummies are tiny – appropriate servings at this age are two vegetable and two fruit a day – about the size of their own fist.

Remember, toddler’s tummies are tiny – appropriate servings at this age are two vegetable and two fruit a day – about the size of their own fist.

 Unhelpful strategies include:

  • Force feeding: You might win the battle, but you lose the war in the longer term.
  • Cheerleading! Parents who get really excited their two-year-old has finally put the broccoli up to their mouth should not be surprised that this overly emotional response encourages the toddler to press their emotional buttons by putting it down again. It’s a great game!
  • Bribing: ‘If you eat your carrots now, you get ice-cream later’ – this will tend to create a negative association that ‘I have to eat the nasty stuff to get the good stuff’.
  • Telling a toddler that a particular vegetable is good for them and therefore they should eat it. You can try this strategy, but toddlers are not that easily convinced – and it may become the trigger sentence that reinforces an automatic ‘No’.

Check out further information and parenting workshops at www.ngala.com.au

Nine-year-old boy Scott Gerini has raised more than $75,000 for Telethon’s sick children over the years but now he faces his own very serious health struggles from what his family suspect is the highly contentious illness, ‘Lyme Disease’, which medics claim doesn’t exist in Australia 

In 2010, four-year-old Scott Guerini wanted to ‘help sick kids and babies’, so he decided to walk 24km, collecting donations for Perth’s Telethon along the way. “Scott’s Great Walk” became an annual event which has morphed into a 42.915km marathon, from his father’s Southern Cross wheat farm to the local sports oval.

Over the years, miners from Cliffs Natural Resources and junior footballers have joined Scott on parts of the walk, and in 2014, police escorted him with sirens and flashing lights for the last few kilometres. In five years, Scott has battled wind, rain and freezing temperatures to raise over $75,000.

Ironically, Scott is now one of those ‘sick kids’. In November 2013, his mother, Nicole, noticed Scott scratching the backs of his legs with his shoes while he stood in the bush in Kings Park. The following day he complained to her of tiredness and queasiness, but refused to miss school.

In five years, Scott has battled wind, rain and freezing temperatures to raise over $75,000.

When he arrived home he stripped off his uniform and curled up in bed – an unusual occurrence for Nicole’s “energiser bunny”. Although he experienced cold sweats, Nicole says his temperature and breathing were normal. When she couldn’t rouse him for dinner, she became concerned. The next morning she noticed a bulls-eye rash on Scott’s swollen legs. The local chemist admitted he had never seen anything like it but told Nicole it was probably an allergic reaction and prescribed antihistamine.

The rash disappeared in a matter of days but, according to Nicole, debilitating fatigue, daily headaches and agonising stomach pain continued to plague Scott. Other symptoms he has experienced and continues to experience, in varying degrees of severity and regularity, include loss of bladder control, 40 degree temperatures and hallucinations, dizziness, stinging eyes, a crawling sensation over and under his skin, an inability to focus, aggressive and erratic behavioural changes, tingling in limbs, numbness in fingers and hands, loss of motor skills, memory lapses, unconsciousness, tremors, nausea, anxiety and ‘popping’ in his brain. Scott also suffers from pains in his leg, chest, neck and upper spine.

Nicole says that in other countries Scott’s symptoms are enough for a clinical diagnosis but very few Australian GP’s will risk their reputation to diagnose Lyme Disease.

Within 16 months Scott underwent countless blood tests plus an MRI and EEG scan, and visited a range of specialists including a gastroenterologist, a neurologist, a paediatrician and finally a specialist of infectious diseases who, Nicole says, all concluded Scott was ill but were at a loss to explain why.

Nicole felt increasingly frustrated until early in 2015 when a friend suggested the possibility that Scott was suffering from Lyme Disease. Nicole admits never having heard of it, but her research uncovered a notable symptom – a bulls-eye rash. Armed with this information Nicole returned to the doctors but says, “Because we hadn’t travelled to the areas they believed was necessary to pick it up, they weren’t terribly concerned with the evidence that we presented to them, and the connection that it had to Lyme.”

A 1994 tick research study, ‘Lyme disease: a search for a causative agent in ticks in south-eastern Australia’, which failed to find conclusive evidence of the bacteria that causes true Lyme Disease, has resulted in the prevailing viewpoint that this disease does not exist in Australia. Nicole disagrees and laments, “As with many things, a lot of the time you don’t know about something until it affects you. This is very much the case for us. I didn’t realise how many people were affected. The difficulties that they face. It’s heartbreaking.”

As Scott’s health deteriorated, his absences from school increased, his school sports were cancelled and he lacked the energy to participate in swimming lessons with his classmates. Nicole finds the more he rests, the better his body seems to cope. She says hot showers and heat packs soothe his aches and pains, and excluding gluten, dairy and reducing his sugar intake, appears to ease his symptoms.

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Scott has yet to meet someone his own age who is experiencing similar health issues and even though he’s a fighter, Nicole admits that it’s starting to affect him emotionally. She is grateful for the monthly support group she and Scott attend. “It’s good to be around people who are supportive and will listen to you. They’re in the same position, so they’ve been through all the same things. They know exactly how you’re feeling.”

Waiting lists to see a certain GP who treats over 400 patients in Perth with Lyme-like symptoms, are months long.

Nicole says Scott has gone from a healthy child to one who never feels well and he doesn’t understand why no one seems willing to help him. This feeling propelled him to write a letter to then Prime Minister, Tony Abbott, stating, “It makes me feel worried and sad. I just want to feel better. Please, please, please help me and everyone else who is suffering the same way I am.”

In a media release dated 30th June 2015, the Lyme Disease Association of Australia (LDAA) were hoping that new research released on 25th June 2015 by Murdoch University in the journal, Parasites and Vectors, which they believe provides “scientific evidence that Lyme-like pathogens are present in Australia” will persuade the Australian Government to rethink their current stance.

Nicole says that in other countries Scott’s symptoms are enough for a clinical diagnosis but very few Australian GP’s will risk their reputation to diagnose Lyme Disease. She says waiting lists to see a certain GP who treats over 400 patients in Perth with Lyme-like symptoms, are months long. Scott finally secured an appointment in April 2015. It cost Nicole $3000 to send her son’s blood to Sydney and Germany for conclusive testing which detected rickettsia and bartonella with further tests pending. Nicole says, “It shouldn’t be this hard to get your child healthy.”

 

Last year’s Telethon walk was extremely difficult for Scott…“ It’s like glass is sticking through his feet or that he’s got rocks in his shoes, those kinds of sensations.”

She adds, “He’s got all this going on but he’s not letting it stop him. He’s still going to school, he’s still doing his walk, he is still contributing to society. It’s nothing to fear. People who have this [disease] are still people. They deserve better”. Last year’s Telethon walk was extremely difficult for Scott. Nicole says, “We had lots of rests, massages and shoe changes because of the pain. It’s like glass is sticking through his feet or that he’s got rocks in his shoes, those kinds of sensations.”

This year he has been named the Telethon Little Ambassador and, determined not to let anyone down, he completed the marathon in 11 hours and 32 minutes. Nicole says, “He found the recovery a lot harder than previous years. [He] couldn’t even get out of bed two days later to eat dinner. He was completely washed out.”

This year he has been named the Telethon Little Ambassador and, determined not to let anyone down, he completed the marathon in 11 hours and 32 minutes.

While Nicole discusses treatments, she is reluctant to pump Scott full of drugs while his body is already overloaded, possibly causing other problems down the track. Scott continues his fight against the bugs that have invaded his body with the courage and determination that propelled him to help other ill children.

Avoiding Tick Bites

  • Wear a hat, long sleeved shirts and long pants tucked into socks.
  • Spray Insecticide containing permethrin on clothing and shoes.
  • Apply Insect repellent containing DEET to bare skin (DEET is toxic to children).
  • Avoid brushing against long grass and shrubs.
  • Wear light coloured clothing to spot ticks.

Christmas can be a stressful time of year when trying to find the perfect presents! These crowd-pleasing gifts are sure to put a smile on the faces of your nearest and dearest. From your tiny tot to your partner, our Christmas Gift Guide has you covered this festive season.

Baby

Buying for bub is lots of fun, but there are so many options out there. This year, get them something that will keep them entertained and stimulate their growing brains.

Fisher-Price Zebra Walker – $54.99

The Fisher-Price Learn with Me Zebra is a designed to encourage those exciting first steps. The zebra is also full of hands-on activities for sitting babies. It has everything from the alphabet to songs and phrases to help with language development. Available at Kmart, Big W, Target, Myer, TRU and fisher-price.com

Fisher-Price Beat Bo Junior – $14.99.

With bright lights, playful tunes and silly dance moves, this cute product is perfect for keeping the little ones entertained, and will help them boost fine motor and thinking skills. It’s great entertainment for on the go and for making tummy-time fun. Available at Target, Kmart, Big W, Myer, TRU and fisher-price.com

Best Christmas Present Ever 2017. $32.95.

A beautiful bub is the best gift of all, so deck your gorgeous new bundle in this cute-as-pie little number. Available at Unique Baby Boutique. uniquebabyboutique.com.au

Musical Clacker Keys. $10.

Every parent knows kids are mesmerised by jingly, jangly keys. These three bright and colourful keys allow your baby to satisfy their curiosity, but also can help to provide some relief once their first teeth come through. One key is a teether;  one is fun to clack and the third has a button for sounds and music. Available at Target.

Toddler

Little Belle night lights -$149.95

These beautiful night lights will provide a comforting glow for little ones at night – and will be a gorgeous feature in your child’s room. Made with hand-painted brush strokes, each of the night lights are inspired by the imagination of young children. Available at little-belle.com

 

Beginner Jigsaw Puzzle – $23

These cute and personalised 6-piece jigsaws are the perfect first puzzles for your little one. These are made from quality material, high resolution colour, and have clear-gloss coating so these puzzles will last. This bright and fun collection of jigsaw puzzles is a great treat for your toddler this Christmas. Available at tinyme.com.au

 

Fisher Price Laugh & Learn Servin’ Up Food Truck – $149.99

Playing shop and restaurant is something kids have loved doing for generations. Keep your little one busy with customers and prepping orders in this play food truck. This helps to introduce toddlers to things like sizing and sequencing, advanced vocabulary, manners, taking turns, but makes it fun with lively songs, sounds and phrases. Available at Target, Big W, Myer, TRU and fisher-price.com.

 

Fisher-Price Zoom ‘n Crawl Monster – $49.99

This is a fun toy for sit-and-play. This toy also help with language with 15 phrases and fun songs. This is a fantastic toy to encourage your little one to get up and get moving. Available at Target, Big W, Myer, TRU and fisher-price.com.

BRIO – My First Take Along Set – $149.95

This brightly coloured play bag is filled with the first tracks in an expandable magnetic train set. It’s perfect to take along when you’re travelling or visiting. It’s fun to use and easy to store, which we all know is very important with a toddler. Both are available at Childsmart.

 

Crocodile Creek Play Ball – $12.95

Balls are a great way to have fun with your toddler and help them learn motor skills.

 

Kids Aged 3-5

Perfect gifts for the fun, energetic 3-5-year-old that will come in handy during the Summer holidays.

Star of the Unicorn Bike – $69

A bike is a timeless gift your child can grow with. Give your child a bike to remember with this cute unicorn inspired bike that makes it easy for you to follow behind with a convenient handle. Available at Kmart.

 

Cotton On Kids

There is always a good excuse to get dressed up during the festive season, and your kids are no exception! We love the sparkly Iris Tulle Dress ($39.95) matched with the Amalfi Jelly Sandal ($16.95). And imagine how dapper your little boy will look in the Kenny Polo ($16.95) and Jerry Loop Back Short ($34.95). A range of adorable party wear is available from Cotton On Kids.

Crocodile Creek Tritan Drink Bottle in Jungle Jamboree, Backyard Friends and Hedgehog- $14.95

A fun gift and something that you can take into the new school year! These coordinate with other Crocodile Creek products such as the Crocodile Creek Backyard Friends Backpack – $29.95

 

The Elf on the Shelf 

The Elf on the Shelf: A Christmas Tradition is a magical story, explains how Santa’s scout elves help him manage his naughty or nice list. Each beautifully-illustrated children’s hardback book comes as a part of a keepsake boxed set including one of Santa’s scout elves, whose job is to watch the kids during the day and report to Santa every night. Available from booksellers including Myer, Dymocks and independent stores.

Glimmies – $7.99

Glimmies are collectable star fairies that magically light up in the dark. They make a cute little stocking gift for the little ones. Available at shop.funtastic.com.au

 

Crocodile Creek Bear and Friends Floor Puzzle – $24.95

All the Crocodile Creek floor puzzles have a slightly-recessed lid that makes the storage box easy for little fingers to open.  Available at childsmart.com.au

 

Kids Aged 6-9+

Young kids can sometimes be difficult to buy for because their favourites can change so suddenly. Thankfully, so many items these days come with colour options or are customisable. Just pick your child’s current favourite craze and there’s sure to be something to match. This is also a great way to get your kids useful gifts. If you know something they love, finding necessities like clothes and school supplies that they will get excited about will be easy.

Mokuru 

The latest wooden toy from Japan, designed to test your balance and concentration skills. It’s as simple as tipping the wooden piece over gently letting it flip and catching it between your fingers. Available at Kmart

Kmart so slime DIY slime factory kit – $29

Keep your child occupied for hours by helping them create their own toys.

 

Globber My TOO FIX UP- $120 

A scooter is a fantastic gift choice to get the kids out into the fresh air and sunshine. The kids will love the choices of the cool colour combos of this scooter and how comfortable it is to ride (featuring three adjustable height positions). Parents will love that this scooter has a reinforced fixed structure and can handle up to 100kg – finally, something that is built to be as tough as your kids!  Available at globber.com.au

 

Spin to Sing – $39.95

If your child is a fan of The Voice or The X Factor, they will love this fun sing-along game. An app uses music from your smart phone, and there is a 5 star judging system and jeopardy cards to add a hilarious twist. Available from childsmart.com.au

 

JBL Headphones

If you have a music enthusiast, they will love these wireless headphones, which can carry a wireless connection up to 15 metres away and have easy-to-operate controls. They have a long battery life and quick re-charge time. JR300 Junior Headphones -$39.95; JR300BT Bluetooth Wireless Junior Headphones – RRP 69.95; Junior Headphone – $49.95. Available at jbl.com

 

Springfree Trampoline

Designed with your child’s safety in mind, this trampoline will provide hours of bouncy outdoor fun. Boasting over 15 years of research and development, Springfree advances and exceeds safety standards, while also encouraging kids to get outside and get active.

This is suitable for a range of ages and both girls and boys. It is a perfect gift if you have more than one child, or for your child and their friends, because the kids can all enjoy it together. Available at springfreetrampoline.com.au

 

Simon & Schuster Dork Diaries Box Set, 10 books -$49

Encourage your child to develop their reading skills with this hilariously entertaining series. This is a popular book series that your child will devour. Available at Kmart

 

Smiggle

Smiggle products are great gifts because they are cute and customisable, so the kids will love them. They might even get kids excited about school with their range of learning supplies. Some great picks this season are:

DIY Hardtop Pencil Case – $22.95

Smiggle’s hardtop pencil case is a classic favourite. It has all the classic hardtop trimmings including internal mesh pockets and pen holders. Let your child’s imagination go as they create a unique design. It comes with markers for your child to use. They will love taking this to school.

Smiggle Studio Art – $34.95

A great gift for creative kids – this gift includes heaps of markers pencils and paint pallets and brushes.

Smiggle Gift Pack – $16.95

This cute set of glam products, including lip glosses and hair chalks, is a perfect stocking stuffer. All available at Smiggle retail stores.

 

Mums and Dad

The focus of Christmas is often on the kids, but it’s a fun family holiday for mum and dad too. Here’s some thoughtful gift ideas for the grown-ups!

Personalised Ladies Watch and Ring Stand by MijMoj Design – $84.44

This beautifully handcrafted solid oak ladies ring and watch stand, can be personalised with a special message to your Mum. This is a gift she is sure to adore this Christmas. Avaliable at MijMoj.

 

Duchess Necklace by Merci Maman – $175.86

The Duchess of Cambridge was spotted wearing the Merci Maman necklace. Since then, mothers all around the world are copying her look! This gorgeous necklace makes the perfect personalised gift for Mum this Christmas. Avaliable at Merci Maman.

 

Personalised Soft Leather Travel Gift Set by STOW – $810.75

Stow’s best-selling jewellery case is combined with two charming trinket boxes. Make it even more special with beautiful monogramming; creating a beautiful bespoke gift. Available at Stow.

 

The Finest Facial Mask Duo – $60

Let your loved one get stuck into the multi-masking trend with this beautifully presented Expert Facial Mask gift set. Available at The Bodyshop.

 

White Musk Small Gift Set – $30

Introduce your mum to the fragrance sweetened with notes of pear, for a deliciously fruity layer that fits effortlessly with the iconic floral blend with this gorgeously presented gift set. Purchasing these gifts from thebodyshop.com.au helps support the Peace Play Project.

 

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Key and Phone Holder

This stylish personalised phone holder, with an adjoining change dish or key bowl, is a lovely wooden gift for keeping everything together when Dad walks through the front door. All available at giftslessordinary.com.au

 

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“People really underestimate what goes on in boarding. There was a girl a few years above me who kept drugs under her mattress. Girls with eating disorders because they could get away with not eating anything because no one monitored it. A few were cutting themselves. And the housemothers had no idea. It’s so easy to hide things.” – Former boarder of 6 years.

These destructive events, such as eating disorders, drug use and self-harm, are sadly too common in Australian boarding schools, and are incredibly alarming. I too was a boarder for five years, and whilst I graduated a happy, healthy and strong individual, it’s the events during that time that shaped the experience.

It’s the fragile minds, the happenings behind closed doors, the unspoken occurrences in the dark of the night throughout the boarding house that are far, far from home.

Someone I know who found boarding very damaging, and got to the point of being suicidal, shares:

“I was in year ten. I’d been there a couple of years. And I hated it, still. I wasn’t really friends with anyone, so I kept to myself a lot. I felt like Mum and Dad didn’t care about me, and I remember waking up one morning and just wanting to end it all. So, I got several packets of Panadol and Nurofen and just ate them all.”

This is an example of the personal battles that can be faced by a child in boarding school. And this isn’t a once off occurrence. Whilst these examples are extreme, they offer a disturbing insight into the troubled nature of some boarders. As someone who has been through boarding, I know how tough it is.

I remember my first day in boarding, whisked away from my weeping mother before we even had a proper chance to say goodbye. At the tender age of twelve, I had been told what I was to expect. But, as I walked the winding staircase that would lead me to the place that was to be my home for the next five years, I was led away from everything I had ever known. Alone in the affluence of Perth’s western suburbs, a far cry from the town where I grew up, every ounce of familiarity I had of the world had been left downstairs with Mum.

Don’t get me wrong, boarding school comes with a large base of staff members whose sole role is to make students feel as comfortable and ‘at home’ as possible. The websites and endless pamphlets that you receive in the mail make sure you are aware of this.

Smiling students in immaculate uniform are portrayed to be having the time of their lives in a spotless, almost too perfect environment.

In many instances, boarders create close bonds with those they live with, establishing a close network of sibling-like relationships that thrive in the absence of actual family members.

But there is, and always will be, a difference between your own mother and a boarding house mother.

A glossy pamphlet can’t describe the pangs of homesickness that sweep through your body in unpredictable waves. A newsletter won’t detail the feeling of not fitting in and being out of your depth in such an unfamiliar place.

And a website certainly won’t display the reality that a child will often hide these feelings from their parents.

High school is a time of mental and physical development, a period of self-exploration and realisation.

The trials and tribulations that come with becoming a teenager are arguably amplified when those who you would usually turn to are no longer present.

Living in the country presents its fair share of problems. The hardships of farming, fuel prices, the distance from simple necessities. Whilst the value of establishing a life and raising a family on a farm or in a small rural community should not be underrated, there comes a time when tough decisions are vital for the future of your children.

Parents must decide the best possible way to equip their children for the ever-intensifying whirlwind that is life.

Education for children is an investment that is vital for their future, but often the options close by are not feasible for such a critical role. Education is vital, but also a choice.

For some, this decision is far more than a financial choice or contemplation of proximity. For some, looking further than the shires of our neighbouring communities is the only option.

For some, babies are enrolled in prestigious institutions before they are old enough to walk, not unlike the generations before them.

Either way, the decision to send your child to boarding school is hardly ever an easy one, nor is the experience of boarding school itself.

Home is a powerful word. Home is the familiarity of the place that you spend a majority of your existence. Home can be a person, place or thing, but ultimately home is somewhere that you exist in your own sense of self. Somewhere that you can be truly comfortable and feel safe. Can boarding school ever really be home?

It is incredibly naïve to assume that all children will take to boarding like a duck to water. As parents, it is imperative that you make informed decisions regarding the education of your children. Communication is key, between you, your child, and the school itself. Find out if they’re struggling, because let me tell you that many suffer in silence.

Boarding is like a sport; some people just aren’t good at it. Try as you may, you can’t force a twelve year old to be able to live away from home without a hiccup or two. Sure, they can get used to it one day at a time…and most do. But we cannot be assuming that everything we choose for our kids is in their best interest. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, but it doesn’t always make a child grow stronger.

Self-regulation is the latest buzz word; it is frequently mentioned in newspapers and across a range of media but what does it really mean? And how do parents foster self-regulation in their children? Kim Johnson and Rosemary Redden, of the Ngala Education team, explain.

Contrary to common belief, self-regulation is more than just self-control. It is self-directional and encompasses the ways we interact appropriately with others, how we use initiative and how we develop the self-motivation to learn.

It encompasses the regulation of emotions, thoughts and behaviours.

CHILD DEVELOPMENT

Babies develop self-regulation through close relations with parents and receiving sensory-stimulating opportunities.

Toddlers view parents as a source of help, using strategies to get adults to respond and assist them to orientate themselves in new or challenging situations. Toddlers begin to put words to their emotions, to learn the concept of emotions and to interact with others. Parents can help their child interpret the actions and emotions of others by putting words to actions and feelings. Children form their own thinking from their experience with others. For example, rough and tumble play can help them learn when to stop when someone has had enough.

Children learn by absorbing information in their surroundings before age three and by their third or fourth year they begin to ask why. They begin to learn cause and effect in social situations and in patterns of behaviour. A child’s impulse control and wilful emotions will become more practiced resulting in thinking before acting. Learning impulse control is critical to brain development at this time; learning this later delays mastery of self-regulation.

By the age of six, children are capable of expressing their feelings, acting deliberately, planning, and controlling aggression both physically and relationally.

PARENTING IMPACTS

The experiences children have through interacting with their parents plays a central role in developing brain systems toward self-regulatory behaviours.

Parenting styles that are warm and responsive allow children to focus their attention and tune in to parents showing control of their own behaviour (first inkling of patience!).

The four main parenting styles are:

  • Indulgent or permissive – less demanding and more responsive, lenient and not requiring mature behaviour. Creating a family dynamic to help children explore their own self-regulation and to avoid conflict.
  • Authoritarian – less responsive and more demanding, expecting compliance without question, providing structured environments and establishing clear rules.
  • Authoritative – demanding and responsive, assertive but not restrictive or intrusive. Providing a supportive environment for learning alongside with clear expectations and allocations of responsibility.
  • Neglectful or uninvolved parents are low in both demands and responsiveness, in extreme cases rejecting and neglecting the essential needs of children.

 

Parenting styles have three primary dimensions:

1) Behavioural control – developing strategies that openly monitor behavioural expectations, establishing rules and limits that provide boundaries for managing behaviour.

2) Warmth – creating a supportive environment for self-expression, encouraging a child to participate in individual, group and community activities, and to form close attachment relationships.

3) Psychological control – being intrusive and overprotective, creating a sense of dependency in a child by implementing constraints, interrupting or ignoring the child, and manipulating a child both emotionally and psychologically.

The main difference between the authoritarian and authoritative parenting styles is the dimension of psychological control, with authoritarian parents expecting children to accept judgments or values without question, and authoritative parents being more open to give and take.

According to researchers, the authoritative parenting style is one of the most consistent predictors of self-regulatory competence from early childhood through adolescence into adulthood. This form of parenting effectively helps a child acquire the self-confidence and esteem necessary to face life’s challenges.

The five important elements across parenting styles that are conducive to developing resilience and self-regulation are:

  1. Availability – the foundation for children to learn to form trust in relationships starts with parents responding to their baby’s needs, as well as providing the security for their child to outgrow the dependency of infancy and confidently explore the wider world and its many challenges.
  2. Sensitivity – being aware as a parent of their child’s individual and unique perspective and encouraging their child to form his or her own feelings and opinions, even if they are different to their own.
  3. Acceptance – being child-centred and valuing the experiences and knowledge unique to their child.
  4. Co-operation – creating opportunities for children to contribute and be effective as children learn to make an impact on their environment. It is possible for parents to be on the child’s ‘team’ to work together solving problems and promoting the various competencies the child has. Success brings confidence to take on challenges and measure risks.
  5. Family membership – promote feelings of belonging and being significant to others.

 

INTERACTIONS – FAMILY ENVIRONMENT OF DISCIPLINE

The environment of the community and family within which a child is raised affects the self-regulation processes the child develops. Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity; family and community environments that are resilient have more self-regulatory systems in place from which individuals can learn. Family conflict is inevitable and some dynamics are higher in emotion due to the temperaments of the individuals in the family. Studies have found that it is not the heat of the family conflict, but how it is resolved, that impacts a child’s ability to regulate in conflict.

Discipline of children affects the self-regulatory development of children. While 90 per cent of parents have used smacking at least once, studies find that any kind of physical discipline negatively effects self-regulation.

A parent’s ability to redirect a child’s attention away from the source of distress and re-engage the child in an on which to activity is the most basic, and an important, self-regulatory skill.

Timeout is often given as an alternative disciplinary tool, however time in with the child or staying in the vicinity of an upset child calms them faster than isolation.

 

CONCLUSION

Being able to self-regulate lays the foundation for many complex tasks and ways of thinking. Individuals are unique in a multitude of ways: physically, brain maturity, temperament and personality. Experience of the world from infancy onwards shapes our self-regulatory abilities.

Researchers now suggest that intentional movements assist a child’s brain to work more efficiently. Sport, music, stretching and slow, measured movement assists all bodies to self-regulate better, often by influencing breathing first and foremost, enabling the brain to calm, and thus to better process complex thoughts.

Parents who are skilled at interpreting their child’s signs, building learning upon current strengths and abilities, taking cues from the child’s perspective in play and respecting their rhythm of problem solving enhances their child’s capacity to learn self-regulatory behaviours.

Regardless of gifted ability or disability, circumstance and cultural differences, the best predictor of positive child behaviour is parental confidence in their own knowledge, acceptance of their child and having a warm relationship with them.

Ngala’s motto of ‘parenting with confidence’ aims to assist you parent your children positively and confidently.

Ngala Helpline 9368 9369.

To book into Ngala Understanding Guiding Children’s Behaviour workshop go to www.ngala.com.au

More than four years on, and the conflict in Syria shows no signs of ending. Over 16 million Syrians need help urgently. Many are seeking shelter from the fighting and the cold in damaged buildings, while others have become refugees in neighbouring countries.

Arriving at LaGuardia Airport in New York in early 1998 my proudly tattered sweat-stained passport was disdainfully perused by a humourless immigration officer. A page documenting my visit to Syria the previous summer prompted a brief yet terse interrogation. Why had I gone to Syria? What was the purpose of my visit? I replied honestly, “….Just having a look around”. The Official looked at me as if I were deranged and challenged the unlikely response. “It’s a beautiful country, I had a lovely time.” I felt, by his blatant expression, showing equal parts of derision and surprise the decision had been made that he was faced with a harmless idiot and the matter was let to rest. I sailed through customs and onto my next adventure.

Travelling in Syria was a less perplexing notion, however, to the steady throng of 90’s Backpackers and other World Adventurers, whom like me, trailed through the Middle East from Greece, Turkey and down into Egypt and onward. To us, a Syrian sojourn seemed perfectly natural. I regularly bumped shoulders with plenty of other interlopers treading the same route, a large propensity being Australian and New Zealanders. Given that most of us had attended the Anzac Day ceremonies in Turkey, the path to Egypt felt, in many ways like a rite of passage.

Syria was an unexpected jewel in a trip that proved transformative for me. It served as a mysterious back-drop to the evolution of some significant friendships that took shape as an intimate travelling posse drew softly together. Relationships formed in which I grew, changed and became better.

I was a chrysalis, coated with the charm of grand colonial buildings, rooms with soaring ebony French Doors and crisp white sheets, elegantly serving as basic accommodation. Haunting morning calls to prayer befuddled our youthful habit of sleeping-in. Hot arid days were soothed with rich tangy lemon sorbet from roadside vendors, their fruits hanging like garlands from carts ready to whip up a fresh juice quicker than you could say Boost Juice. Creamy chickpea paste patted and plucked by nimble expert fingers from large vats, plied and fried into delicious falafel balls, blanketed in plump flat bread and tabouleh, we had our fill.

Sticky windows of baklava and endless malls of lingerie shops lined Damascus streets. Lacy satin garments sometimes glinted through the seams of black burqas as women leaned in to scoop up a fussy child or reach for market wares. Genteel hostel staff dispensed herbal remedies for upset tummies and gently guided our upcoming adventures. Musicians masqueraded as backgammon playing coffee scoffers before breaking open their circle to invite us into their erupting party. Courteous gentlemen escorted us through city parks practising English in earnest.

My heart wrenches for the Syrian people fleeing with their babies in their arms, bloodied and desperate, being refused entry at freshly barbed-wired border crossings.

The majestic golden ruins of Palmyra, accentuated by the colourful rich hues of Bedouin nomads and their decorated camels, emanated ancient stories and Persian poetry, whispering with the desert wind. Studs in denim lapped up their youth from rooftop rooms with a ceiling of stars and an oasis their carpet. Gum trees were everywhere, Aussie arbols content and flourishing, as were we in the intoxicating gracefulness that was Syria.

A Syria that is, heart –breakingly, no more.

My memories no doubt read something like an Oriental Romance but they embody the essence of my experience of Syria. I was a carefree 20 Something, blissfully ignorant and unaffected by any political situation or social fracture. Had I been less naïve, I might have paid attention to the fact that Syria was still ruled under Emergency Law, its citizens stripped of their democratic rights since 1963 when The Ba’athist Party had taken control of the country after a succession of shaky post war governance.

Perhaps I would have noticed some disharmony, taking into account that the key figures of the Ba’athist Party were of the Alawite minority and that seventy percent of the population were Sunni Muslims. Maybe the musicians in Damascus and I would have talked politics and they would have told me of the harsh censorship to their craft, but there was no such talk, instead they tried to teach me how to play a little tablah drum. I was not impeded by any political unrest and my safe and happy interactions with the Syrian people remain fond memories of a genteel folk, impeccably mannered in their sophisticated cities and hypnotic deserts.

The borders of modern day Syria had been fashioned together after the First World War and ruled under French Mandate until 1945. After Syria had joined the United Nations, a war-weakened France relented to Syrian Independence. A period of political instability followed until The Ba’athists gained a formidable foothold in a 1963 military coup. In 1970 Hafez al-Assad headed the government until his death in 2000, after which his son, current Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, assumed rule winning an election in which he ran unopposed. Optimistic hopes for reform on his appointment were dashed and by 2004 there were obvious stirrings of civil unrest.

During the Arab Spring of March 2011, The Free Syrian Army, a rebel force supposedly fighting for a free secular Syria, staged an uprising against the Assad government and civil war broke out. Most commentators agree that the current situation in Syria is complex and hard to decipher. The Free Syrian Army, reputedly backed by the Obama government has since collapsed and ISIS has filled the void in the conflict with a more brutal agenda. The United States have begun air strikes with Australian support over the country in a bid to subdue ISIS, which now control key strongholds throughout the country.

ISIS cannot be disassociated with the events of 2003, when The United States and their allies, including Australia, invaded Iraq under the dupe of Weapons of Mass Destruction and deposed Saddam Hussein; what followed is a well-known if confusing tale of hollow victory, chaos and decimation culminating in a frightening brand of terrorism. A teetering imbalance between the Sunni and Shiite Muslims and a rage against global invasion led to a combustion of conflict and its embers lit up the dry tense tinderbox of The Middle East. Syria has not been spared.

In 2001 I met an Iraqi journalist called Hani who had fled the Hussein regime. He was working as a trolley collector for Woolworths. In 2007 he travelled to Syria to visit family who had sought refuge there, like so many other Iraqis fleeing the war. I haven’t seen him since and I fear for his family and for him, in case he decided to stay. The images of Syrian cities razed and ancient ruins bombed and looted sadden me beyond words but it is the faces of the people carrying their children desperate for a safe place to go that I can’t erase from my mind.
My heart wrenches for the Syrian people fleeing with their babies in their arms, bloodied and desperate, being refused entry at freshly barbed-wired border crossings. Hungary has shut its borders and The Croatian Serbian border has also closed. Europe’s generosity has run out. Neighbouring countries, such as Lebanon are filled to the brim.

Saudi Arabia along with the United States and Russia seem agreeable to supplying weapons which sustain the devastation, yet are far less willing to give safe haven to the throngs of common people whose viability for peace has been wrested from them. These people have nowhere to go and I can’t reconcile to the concept that it has nothing to do with me. I’m a mother, a parent, a human being.

The image of the little boy who washed up drowned on the Turkish beach was a picture I never wanted to see, the familiar curve of his darling innocent little head dredged up the love I feel for my 18 month old when I watch him sleep. The anguish embedded in empathy I felt for his parents was confronting.

A refugee is someone fleeing life-threatening circumstances and yet so often they are treated with suspicion and fear. Rejected and turned away, the choices become more desperate, the risks become perils. The suffering closes in and hope becomes vague and they begin to change. The old give up and turn inward and the young get angry. Rejection, fear and greedy opposition is not what the decent people of Syria deserve. At this moment they deserve compassion, respite, healing and an understanding of the political undertakings which have brought innocent people to this desperate point. And they need somewhere to go.    

To donate:

The Red Cross

On average, Red Cross Red Crescent is helping a staggering 3.5 million people in Syria every month in practical, life-saving ways:

  • providing food parcels and baking bread
  • supplying hygiene kits with toothpaste, toilet paper, soap and other essentials
  • providing blankets to keep out the cold
  • providing clean water and restoring sanitation systems
  • providing first aid and medical care, including vaccinations for children

To donate to the Australian Red Cross Syria Crisis Appeal go to www.redcross.org.au/syriacrisis  

UNICEF

You can support UNICEF’s work for Syria’s children:

    1. Donate directly at www.unicef.org.au
    2. Buy a UNICEF Inspired Gift at www.unicef.org.au/gift The gifts most needed are those that prevent the spread of disease. Choose from categories like ‘disease prevention’ or ‘clean water and sanitation’.  
    3. Challenge themselves and bring people together to raise money. We’ve had extraordinary physical challenges, trekking and even simple bake sales and workplace morning teas to raise money for children. Visit www.unicef.org.au/donate/fundraising to learn more. For example, one team is doing a clean out of their wardrobes and organising a wardrobe sale to support UNICEF’s work for children in Syria and the surrounding countries taking refugees.

Oxfam

To support Oxfam’s humanitarian response the public can donate to Oxfam Australia’s Syria Crisis Appeal by calling 1800 034 034 or visiting www.oxfam.org.au

Oxfam program information

Oxfam has reached more than 250,000 vulnerable people in Lebanon. Their response has included:

  • Providing 3,200 hygiene kits (accompanied by hygiene promotion and awareness sessions), toilet cleaning kits, and 840 environmental cleaning kits, and distributing household, communal and municipal waste bins.
  • Building and repairing over 1,100 toilets, ensuring that each is shared by no more than 20 people.
  • Installing over 720 water tanks in communal areas.
  • Delivering 10 million litres of water through water trucking, providing refugees with clean water for drinking, cooking and washing.
  • Constructing or repairing 70 shared bathing facilities, and providing families with jerry cans and water storage containers.

Meet the Western Australian mums making a career on social media.

In recent years we’ve seen the explosion of a brand new profession – social media influencing. Increasingly, new mums take to social media as a creative outlet while adjusting to motherhood, with some building up enough of a following to turn it into a career.

Marketers and brands know that in 2019 audiences are after authenticity, so they flock to these mum’s who are open and honest about their journey through motherhood – the good, the bad and the ‘insta-worthy’.

These influencer mums do a lot more than just post cute photos of their babies; they are content creators, authors, businesswomen and give advice on pregnancy, style, health and fitness. They have created a community of mums who can relate to their struggles and learn from their tips and sometimes just share in a laugh.

Here we’ve collected our favourite influencers to follow for your daily dose of motherhood, fashion and travel and lifestyle inspiration.

1. @ourmessynest

Emma Fletcher is local to Perth, Western Australia and has an interest in sharing local activities for adults and children. With a keen interest in local events, travel, cooking, beauty, animal conservation and supporting charity organisations, Our Messy Nest is a true lifestyle account.

Having recently started her own blog, you’ll find a mix of all these as well as personal pieces both on @ourmessynest and www.ourmessynest.com.au. Staying true to the motivation behind her social media presence, Emma’s five year old son Reed is a constant source of inspiration.

Sharing life as a mother, student, blogger and friend is central to the content shared on these platforms. Emma’s passion for photography has allowed her to connect with other parents to share the ups and downs of parenting, tips on travelling with kids as well as special milestones in her life.

2. @common_wild

Landscape Architect Paula Kuka, began drawing illustrations depicting her experience of motherhood while on maternity leave with her second child. What started as a personal project and an alternative to a traditional baby book, quickly gained popularity as other mums loved seeing their own personal experiences mirrored in these relatable, touching and hilarious cartoons.

Paula’s cartoons have resonated with parents, highlighting the fact that it’s not only the humorous parenting moments but also the intensely emotional and frustrating facets of parenthood that appear to be universal.  The main goal of the project has evolved over time as she realised the power the images could have in transforming someone’s challenging day.  Using humour, honesty, and vulnerability, the drawings let other mums know they aren’t alone. Paula hopes that the project continues to cheer up exhausted parents and provoke conversations about guilt and the pressure mothers feel.

Paula lives in Perth with her Journalist husband, 4-year-old son and 1-year old daughter and is currently working on publishing a book of her illustrations.

You can buy Paula’s illustrations at www.commonwild.com.au

Casey Lucas of Lucas Girls Love is a happy wife & mother of two young girls, currently saying yes to new adventures and living the little things!

With a career in fashion and styling spanning over 15 years, Casey enjoys the creative outlet of Instagram influencing, while she raises her beautiful daughters. Well known for their ‘twinning’ and Mummy & Me outfits, the Lucas Girls have worked with iconic fashion labels such a Auguste the Label, Infamous Swim, Unreal Fur and Lack of Colour to name a few.

 Casey feels that life can be crazy enough and not always sunshine and rainbows, so insists on keeping her Instagram positive and ‘light & fluffy’ so that her posts continue to put a smile on her followers faces.

4. @sugarplumtree_mama

Nicole is a 38 year old influencer blessed with 3 beautiful daughters. Currently her main occupation is juggling #mumlife and social media, however she also has a Bachelor of Science (Molecular Genetics) and worked as a Medical Scientist for 13 years.

When her eldest daughter was 6 months old Nicole opened a children’s clothing company, Sugar Plum Tree, which quickly became very popular. Fans went crazy for the bespoke applique pinafores Nicole designed and sewed herself. However after a stressful, yet rewarding 8 years, and the arrival of her 3rd little sugarplum, Nicole decided it was time to move on.

With a love and passion for all things creative, she found a new love in product styling and photography, and for the past two years has shared these passions online, where you can see snippets of her life as a Mum to three girls, find out about fun Perth events and things to do, follow their regular travels, and learn about some awesome new products they love and recommend.

You can follow Nicole on Instagram and read her blog.

5. @storiesofamum

Since starting in 2015 as a platform for sharing memories of her firstborn daughter Sophie, Stories of a Mum has blossomed into a social media brand built around beautiful photography, small business promotion and storytelling.

Stories of a Mum is an avenue in which to document the good, bad and downright testing days of motherhood as Laura shares her very open and raw journey as a Navy Wife and mother of two little girls. Laura uses her Instagram page to connect with other mothers while drinking wine and eating pizza in her Kmart leggings. If you love honest captions, photos of family home decor, Mum & kid fashion, local Perth child friendly cafes and travel then @Storiesofamum is the account for you.

6. @_emma.gibb

Emma Gibb is a Perth influencer with substance. Just like her insta profile portrays, Emma is a wife, mama and manifester. Happily married with two gorgeous boys, Emma wins more in a month than most people win in a lifetime.

We love Emma’s relatable, funny and down to Earth portrayal of motherhood. We also find her honesty around her mental health struggles inspiring; and love how passionate she is about urging women to get help.

Emma loves working in the Perth CBD as a Commercial Property Manager for a top tier agency but when the corporate work day is over and her boys are tucked lovingly in bed, Emma is getting in that side hustle on Insta.

Not only does Emma create content for top brands like Dyson or HelloFresh, she gives intuitive card readings as @thatgypsymum and promotes her successful online crystal store, thatgypsyshop.com

Image credit: @dealuna.photography

7. @house.of.cubs

Isabel is a Perth blogger and content creator.  She is a wife and mother of two boys, Christian, two, and Ethan 6 months.  Her husband, Steve, works FIFO. Isabel lived in Spain until her early teens.  She has a degree in commerce and a postgraduate degree in corporate governance and gave up her corporate job to have a family.  When Christian was 6 months old, she started her Instagram page for fun and in the process discovered her creative passion.  She has never looked back.

@house.of.cubs is a collection of photography and stories about their family life.  It showcases motherhood, the joys and challenges of raising a young family as well as curated interiors, fashion, products for mums and kids, and her family’s love of the beach, adventure and travelling.

Isabel has recently finished styling Christian’s big boy room.  A space where he can play, explore, learn and get lost in imagination! #kidsroominspiration.

Isabel’s family are soon on a 5 week adventure to Europe where she will continue to share the joys and craziness of motherhood whilst travelling with a young family.

A baby’s cry is their only way of communicating with their parent so knowing their reason for crying is essential! Here is your guide to decoding the five most common baby cries.

HUNGER:
❥ Typically, a low-pitched, rhythmic, repetitive cry.
❥ It’s best to respond quickly so the baby doesn’t get too worked up and swallow air which can trap gas or cause them to spit up.

Look out for…
❥ Your baby’s sucking reflex will kick in here
so babies may also put their fingers in their
mouth or try gnawing at their hand.

UNCOMFORTABLE:
❥ A whiny, nasal, continuous cry usually means your baby is uncomfortable. They’re itchy, wet, cold, or want to be in a different position.
❥ It may also be discomfort so check for a dirty nappy!

GAS:
❥ This cry will come from the lower abdomen and will often see it accompanied by your child pulling their knees up or pushing out with their legs. His body will be uncomfortable because he’s experiencing
lower gas and looking for a way to manoeuvre it out.
❥ When your baby is feeling gas in the upper part of his digestive tract, he’ll push his breath out like he’s trying to burp.

HOT TIP!
Try comforting positions such as laying her on her tummy on your forearm or across
your knees, supporting her head and rubbing her back.

SICK/COLIC:
❥ Colic often occurs in the late afternoon or evening, and the episodes can last for hours. It typically peaks around six weeks after birth and goes away by the time the baby is three to four months old.
❥ Intense wails or screams accompanied by fidgeting movements can signal the baby is feeling unwell.

❥ A sick baby will typically let out soft whimpers that are weak and nasal
sounding.
❥ If you suspect your baby is sick, be on the lookout for additional symptoms that warrant a doctor’s visit such as fever, diarrhea, constipation, vomiting and rashes.

The sound of a baby’s pained cries can break any parent’s heart. Using our tips and tricks for identifying the reason for your baby’s tears can put a
smile on everyone’s faces.

Darling of the Musicals, Sweetheart of the Screen, hardworking mum and all round Good Witch, Lucy Durack, shows the value in seeking the support of family, friends and the odd stranger on social media.

When Lucy Durack got her childhood dog, her outnumbered dad, on learning it was a girl had one demand a tough name. Born and raised in an unashamedly girly girl house in Perth with her two sisters and a bitch named Bandit, this Fairy Princess was, as every good tale goes, destined for the stage.

With a wicked talent and spellbinding mix of resilience and charm, Lucy chats to Offspring from her home in Melbourne about family and her magically crafted career on both stage and screen.

“Polly wants to be The Fairy Queen of the Theater when she grows up,” Lucy laughs of her daughter. Clearly keen to follow in Mum’s footsteps, Polly must have been taking note of Lucy’s Glinda during last year’s GFO’s production of The Wizard of Oz, her four year old being no stranger to The Good Witch.

Polly, imbued in show business from the womb, (she was in utero during her mother’s reprisal of a fleshed out Glinda, in the smash hit musical, Wicked) will likely be understudying in the wings in January when Lucy treads the boards as Princess Fiona in Shrek the Musical.

Although Lucy held similar childhood dreams, hankering for the lead in school musicals, she’s mindful not to narrow down her daughter’s choices and says,

“Polly is very keen on singing and dancing, and she’s got a smart little brain, so I want her to see what other things are out there.”

Lucy, a Helpmann Award winning actress, (she won the coveted theater prize playing Elle Woods in the Australian season of Legally Blonde) has broadened her own horizons.

Not confining her talents to the stage, she has a growing number of screen credits, including cop, Tugger, on popular Nine Network series Doctor Doctor, and wayward, Roxy, in Network Ten drama Sisters.

She’ll soon return to Sydney to resume filming, as a judge on Seven’s revival of family hit, Australia’s Got Talent (AGT). Mercifully, without hyperemesis gravidarum, the debilitating morning sickness that plagued her in early production.

She’s expecting her second child, a baby boy in October and describes her recovery as a “Miracle,” after suffering from the condition throughout her entire pregnancy with Polly which she says, “Was really hard,” a believable sentiment when considering the first five months were spent on stage.

Relieved the symptoms subsided much earlier this pregnancy and grateful for the solace she sought in a Facebook group of fellow sufferers she says, “It was a really useful group to just connect with complete strangers that were also going through this really terrible time.”

“Just having people who are going through exactly the same thing is really useful. I found having a Mothers’ Group really helped. I remember once we finished our four weeks, or whatever you do with the nurse, she was like, “Right it’s now up to you girls to meet on your own”, so I started up a WhatsApp Group, but I started it in the middle of the night when I was up feeding Polly.”

“Polly was born in June, so it was winter, and it was dark and cold, that isolating time when you feel like, you’re the only one in the world awake feeding your baby,” Lucy laughs. “And so, I thought I’ll just add the mums and when they wake up in the morning, they can join, but at around 2am I kept getting this ‘ding ding’.

All the mums were up feeding their babies, it was so heartening and it still gives me warm fuzzy feelings to think about, because it was just this moment where I thought,

‘Oh my God, I’m not alone, and we’re all just trying to figure this out in the middle of the night.’”

When Polly was six weeks old, Lucy auditioned for the role of Sophie in Alison Bell and Sarah Scheller creation, The Let Down, screened on ABC & Netflix. Now in its second series and steadily gaining cult status, the wry triumph peels back child rearing to its bare bones.

Lucy, in a fluster before the audition when the babysitter called in sick, had no choice but to take her newborn with her. Luckily, the role of Sophie called for a shiny new mum, who almost has it together when encountering an eclectic mix of characters at Mothers’ Group.

Polly, not only welcome at the audition, scored her first screen credit starring as Sophie’s baby in the pilot episode. Lucy’s agent called saying, “Well, if ever there was an audition where it’s appropriate to bring your baby, this was it.”

Childcare, a tricky balance to strike for most working parents is no different for Lucy and her theater director/choreographer husband, Chris Horsey, who face their own specific challenges piecing together the irregular shapes of their showbiz schedules.

Sitting down, at least monthly, with their calendars they nut out the gaps, Lucy says, “As long as we’ve kind of organised the next month or two, and I know in my heart that Polly’s looked after in the best possible way, then I can keep going.”

Lucy says it couldn’t work without Chris and his hands-on approach to fatherhood, “Chris is absolutely brilliant, such an excellent husband and dad. We don’t live the traditional roles of how we grew up, where our mothers were the main carer. Chris and I split it pretty evenly.” At times, that means either one stepping up to care for Polly while the other works.

When schedules collide, they arrange day care, a nanny or call on family. Once, when Chris was choreographing in Paris while Lucy filmed Sisters, they got a live-in au pair. Lucy’s mum is booked in for August. “Mum’s super helpful. She flies in and saves the day multiple times a year. She’s brilliant.” Lucy says.

With the long-term future often difficult to predict, Lucy relies on her and Chris talking things through, “Chris and I try to keep really open about communicating how we’re feeling because we’ve both had stints as the main carer.”

“It’s great because we both know how isolating that can be and so we can be a little more open about that. It’s constant negotiation, a jigsaw puzzle that we’re trying to sort out.”

Connecting industry parents who share tips and contacts for juggling parenthood and career through Facebook Group Actor/Singer/Dancer/Mother also helps Lucy piece the puzzle together.

“It has been an invaluable source, very, very useful. It’s a really great support network and for those really specific questions that come with being a mum, that are coupled with the uncertainty of performing life.

“That Facebook Group, on a weekly basis, gives me such help and support, and just makes me feel happy that we’re all there looking after each other.

“Oh, The worst thing that is going to happen is, I’m not going to do a very good job, but I’m not going to die”

Being open to support and asking for help has perhaps enhanced the bold and brave life of Lucy Durack. Suffering stage fright while studying Musical Theatre at WAAPA (Western Australian Academy for Performing Arts), she sought guidance from teachers and read books on the fight or flight response.

On realising her worst fears would not result in being eaten by a wildebeest, she overcame the anxiety. Laughing, she remembers, “Once I discovered ‘Oh, the worst thing that is going to happen is, I’m not going to do a very good job, but I’m not going to die.’ That really helped me.”

Accepting the possibility that, not doing a very good job, needn’t equal disaster has undoubtedly allowed Lucy’s talents to flourish and fostered her connections with others through the admirable mix of humility and optimism. 

Discussing the bravery of vulnerability, Lucy says, “Even to just reach out and say, ‘I feel like I’m failing,’ and everyone says, ‘Yep, we all do. Don’t worry,’ can help to know you’re not the only one.

I don’t think anyone escapes that feeling, at some point. I love Brene Brown, and I read a quote from her the other day where she says, ‘If we all operate from the perspective that we’re all trying our hardest, then everyone’s life’s better.’

“You know, it’s true. Everyone is trying their hardest, it’s just sometimes things are hard.

“Even to just reach out and say, ‘I feel like I’m failing,’ and everyone says,‘Yep, we all do. Don’t worry,’ can help to know you’re not the only one.”

Moments of vulnerability abound in the current season of AGT. Judging for the first time, Lucy has found the experience more emotionally fulfilling than expected and explains, “You’re watching people bare their souls and try things they, maybe, don’t do in their normal lives. It’s their big chance in the spotlight. It can be emotionally draining because you want to give them all your attention, but it’s also emotionally fulfilling and beautiful to watch.”

“Every single filming day, probably because I’m pregnant as well, I cried at least once at something beautiful that happened on stage. Some of the acts are heart wrenching, some hilarious and others are just ridiculous. So you have this roller coaster of emotions throughout your filming day. I’m really enjoying it and I’ve learnt a lot.”

Lucy’s next big act will be welcoming her son and brother for Polly in October.

She says, “Polly is super girly. Everything has to be pink and purple, rainbow and sparkles. I think having a boy will be really good for our household, to balance us all out. It will be interesting to see what personality this little guy will have and who he’ll take after.”

The little guy will be around four weeks old when Lucy starts rehearsals for Shrek the Musical, opening at Sydney Lyric Theatre in January 2020.

She says, “Knowing that Shrek is coming up, and we as a family will be in Sydney for a few months with a newborn baby, we’ve got some beautiful nanny contacts from when we lived there, so I’ve put them in place. I’m pretty excited because I love Shrek.”

“Now my life is so much about my family, a whole new part of my career that is really family-friendly, that I can bring my family to, has all of sudden become such a high priority. Knowing that can happen with Shrek, I’m looking forward to it. It’s a really funny, well-written show.”

Another well-written show, however, comes first. Lucy needs to prepare for Bonnie Lythgoe’s panto spectacular, Jack and the Beanstalk, and this Fairy Princess doesn’t fit into any of her clothes.

She’s off to buy maternity leggings from Westfield, she’ll probably drive. But perhaps, with a click of the heel or a wave of a wand, she might just fly in a pair of glittering wings, making every day fairy tales (like only Lucy Durack can) come true.