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Yvette Clarke, an internationally-renowned Wellness Consultant, Empath, Light Worker and Soul Room Specialist, shares how she is able to help break through emotional barriers and explains why the parental word is so important in developing healthy self esteem in our children.

I have been blessed with the unique gift of acute empathic perceptivity, which allows me to feel and hear the subconscious emotions of my clients as though I am them.

I help women suffering from low self-esteem cut through confusion and trauma to create clarity, understanding and best of all personal empowerment, allowing them to take back control of their emotions and their lives.

For over 20 years I have had the privilege of being invited into a sacred place – the inner self – where everything that makes a person who they are is stored; I call this place The Soul Room. In this room, I come to converse with the subconscious emotional layers of the human body. In here I shine a light on the suppressed hidden beliefs and emotional injuries causing conflict and obstruction to my clients’ wellbeing, happiness and success. My job is to give voice to the subconscious self so that it can be heard and not shoved under the proverbial carpet.

I have sat with thousands of emotionally-scarred, disempowered women, who don’t understand why they bring into their lives the same bad experience – or relationship – over, and over, again. These experiences come wrapped in a different package each time and initially appear to be different than before, but once she is caught up in the euphoria of ‘duplicitous nice’ being shown to her, the relationship partner appears to have metamorphosised into someone who becomes unkind, cruel and detrimental to her already delicate self-esteem.

She loses her voice and becomes a doormat to others. This causes her self-esteem to become even more diminished than before, she becomes fearful of making another wrong choice, her anxiety levels reach catastrophic heights and she wonders what it is about her that has this continue to happen… What is wrong with HER?

Her friends don’t understand either. They wonder why such a lovely, caring and kind woman would continue to attract abuse and mistreatment.

I have been asked by numerous women over the years why they can’t break this cycle and here is the reason from a soul room perspective.

It all comes down to the power of the PARENTAL WORD. The words from a parent can make or break a child’s belief in themselves. These parental words will stay with this person for the whole of their life replaying in the background of their subconscious mind and within the emotions of the inner child self. They will replay like bad Christmas music that has become stuck in your head after you’ve done your Chrissy shopping at a major department store.

It’s like that song that just keeps replaying over, and over, again in the background of your mind and no matter what you do, it’s stuck in there.

The parental word has the same effect on your child self as that background music does, the only difference is the Christmas music won’t harm your self-esteem, the negative parental word will.

Without realising it, the parent has the power to subconsciously brainwash their child into feeling inadequate, incapable and downright unlovable.

Without realising it, the parent has the power to subconsciously brainwash their child into feeling inadequate, incapable and downright unlovable.

I have had the most beautiful, healthy women sit in front of me telling me how fat and ugly they are, they can’t even see their actual body shape because all they hear in the back of the mind replaying over and over again is the parent’s criticism of their physique and weight. The continuous jabs at a tiny bit of tummy fat has now created a woman who binge eats and then throws up to keep slim. All she is a distorted image of herself, fed by the niggling of parental criticism. As an adult, it doesn’t matter how much she is told how beautiful she is, the internal child state is stuck, glitched on the relentless parental music telling her she is fat.

As children we are emotional sponges, we absorb into ourselves the emotions and wording repeating itself in the home environment. We are like steaks marinading in criticism sauce.

When a child’s point of view is repeatedly dismissed, or their emotions are conveyed to them as drama, this teaches the child that their feelings have no value and that their emotions are ridiculous. As an adult they are likely to attract a partner who will treat them the same way the parent did.

As children we are emotional sponges, we absorb into ourselves the emotions and wording repeating itself in the home environment. We are like steaks marinading in criticism sauce.

When a child is treated with irritation when they speak, as adults they often attract relationships that treat them with the same tactic of abuse.

When a child is told continuously what is wrong with them and what they didn’t get right, they become excessively self-critical or they become very critical of others.

The parental word is so very, very, important to the innocent child. This child will remain inside your children for their whole lifetime. This child needs to be encouraged to believe in themselves, they need to be reminded how much they are loved – and loved for simply being them – not love earned from behaving in a manner that pleases the parent.

The innocent child needs to hear that they matter to you and that you are willing to listen to their feelings when needed, without prying into everything that is private and personal to them.

The greatest chance our children have of growing into emotionally healthy adults with a healthy self-esteem is from them feeling that no matter how big they mess up, your love for them will not be diminished.

Offspring Editor, Kate Durack, talks to Spiritual mentor and medium, Oscar de Souza, on what it means to be an empath and how to nurture this important gift.

An Empath has an ability to form deep connections with people as they can understand and relate to their emotions, however it can become overwhelming and painful, so learning to manage this influx of emotions is vital.

Everyone likes to feel understood, cared for and treated with compassion. This is empathy, a wonderful gift to help develop connection, love and understanding between people and to aid in healing. It is a quality we hope to instil in our children.

As a parent, having empathy helps our children feel loved and supported, and teaches them to have consideration for other people’s feelings. It is important for bonding.

But what about someone who has empathy at the far end of the spectrum, where they are highly sensitive to emotions and energy, who feels the emotions of others regardless of physical and psychological interactions?

This is known as being an empath.

The Oxford Dictionary describes an empath as someone who has a “paranormal ability to perceive the mental or emotional state of another individual”.

Parents who are empaths can benefit from knowing how to channel this energy, so we don’t feel overwhelmed. Also, it is more common for them to have empath children. It’s helpful to be able to identify this gift in our children, so we can help support them with their special talent, which can sometimes lead to them feeling overwhelmed.

Spiritual medium, healer and educator, Oscar de Souza, of the Spirit Energy Centre, says there is an increasing number of people who are identifying with their ability to be able to “feel” other people.

“Through social media, TV and society, others who have previously thought they had ‘something wrong with them’ are starting to realise that it’s actually a gift and not a burden,” says Oscar.

“A profound spiritual surge is occurring within many people worldwide through many different faith systems. The empath is just one of them who better deals with the emotions and energy people feel, rather than what people may think, portray or say.”

Oscar believes our purpose in life is to “acquire emotions”, so someone who is an empath, who has a profound ability to sense emotions and energy in others, has a special gift and an important role to play.

“I believe empaths have come to this earth to help people open up their mind’s eye to the emotions that resonate within their body, to help people tune into their spirit and purpose.”

Oscar says people who have this ability are generally very old souls.

“They have acquired many experiences and emotions throughout their incarnations, hence their ability of understanding the emotions and energy in others.”

There are two types of empaths: The Emotional empath who feels deeply what another person is feeling and can often have psychic and telepathic abilities; and the Somatic empath who physically reacts by mirroring, such as playing with their hair if you are, or becoming angry at someone if you’re angry with that person.

Signs you are an empath include, “being able to see through people’s facades and actions” or you might “feel the world is impacting on you”.

The difference between an empath and someone who is just feeling empathy for another is that the empath has that ability functioning continuously, while the latter would be just a passing experience.

“Empaths feel a constant stream of these emotions day and night. It can be virtually impossible to switch off from these as they feel the emotions and energy from external sources within their magnetic field or chakras,” says Oscar.

Empaths can feel many people’s emotions at once and take on the energy of animals and nature, with some able to feel the residual energy in the air.

“They are able to walk into a room and feel the energy of the previous occupants of that space and some even feel tectonic activity and natural or man-made disasters.”

Untrained, an empath can become confused and overwhelmed by feeling a multitude of emotions simultaneously from various sources.

Decoding and dealing with these emotions can be difficult, especially if they haven’t identified where the feelings are coming from and how to deal with them.

“At times they can be convinced that sudden random variable emotions fluctuating within them are their own emotions, and the mind can potentially be entrapped into trying to decipher and understand them,” Oscar warns. “They can get lost in what they are feeling or lost in the feelings of others.”

Without adequate skills,

empaths can find it difficult to cope emotionally, and can even be susceptible to self-harm, addictions, anxiety and depression, as they try to diminish the intensity of the emotions they feel through self-medicating

and generally just ‘trying to feel better’.

While emotions may have psychological and chemical relativity, they are the language of our energy/spirit working through the chakras in the body, says Oscar.

“Each chakra has a resonance/emotion, it emits and absorbs energy. The general emotions a person feels are made up of all the seven different emotions resonating in each chakra.

“The empath’s chakras, if unmanaged, continually absorb energy at a higher frequency than what they may emit. This can cause a feeling of being overwhelming and being subjugated to unwanted emotions and energy.”

Oscar is conducting the first ever Empath Courses in Australia, accredited by IICT (international Institute for Complementary Therapists), and will be touring the country in 2019, which will enable someone to use these gifts as an Empath therapist, so they can help others understand their emotions and how they work within the chakras.

During the workshop, Oscar discusses how Empaths can manage and control this gift, talk about how to enhance and preserve it, and access the antidote to what they are sensing, which is the opposite polarity of an excessive emotion.

For example, Oscar teaches how an empath who is in the presence of someone who has a lot of pride energy emitting from the crown chakra, can emit the opposite emotion/energy being humility from their own crown chakra into the other person, rather than be a confrontational or uncomfortable situation; or emit the strength and resilience from their heart chakra into someone who is heart-broken, for example. Or, if someone feels unable to cope, the empath can help them by emitting energy from their naval chakra.

A parent can help a child who is having a panic attack, by calming the solar plexus chakra and the crown chakra, or if a child is feeling anger, the parent can help the child calm the heart and navel chakra.

Parents can learn how to understand and locate the energy and emotions in their children’s chakras and learn how to direct their own energy from the relative chakra into the child or help guide the child into being more tuned into their own selves and their emotions.

Oscar says toddlers and pre-teens often act out physically or verbally the emotions of those around them, so as parents we can learn to be attentive to that source, and then emit into the child the necessary emotion from the relative chakra, to keep the child from being completely subjugated to external influences.

As parents, we should not undermine how wise and sensitive empath children are and speak sincerely with them, as it helps them feel at ease.

Oscar adds, empaths at any age should avoid superficial friendships that lack sincerity and support.

“When an empathic child is in the presence of someone who doesn’t have their guard up, and are being open and sincere, these kids find them exciting and fun to be around.”

Oscar says if a child is given an evasive answer after asking how the parent is, the child can feel upset and distant from the parent.

He says these children might naturally avoid interacting in a social setting.

“Some kids may also be afraid of interacting with adult or children their own age and prefer to be on their own (talking to themselves as some would say) and playing with animals, nature or games.

“Speaking to older kids about emotions, chakras and energy helps the child be able to learn how to articulate their feelings and sensitivity, rather than be lost for words and unable to communicate.”

Creative arts, activities and musical instruments are great for helping children find a channel of expression, and release.

Oscar says some teenagers and young adults who are Empaths may find it difficult to concentrate at school and can be easily distracted by people around them. “They can be more concerned with the state of people around them rather than their own self or they may be the quiet one who doesn’t say or do much.”

“Other signs to look out for is if the young adults are looking to suppress their sensitivity using toxins like alcohol or drugs. Some may have severe levels of depression, anxiety and self-harm or suicidal thoughts, in which case seeking medical and mental health care is imperative.”

To learn more about Oscar and his work, check out https://spiritinsight.com.au/oscar-de-sousa/